My Thoughts…. What is a safe haven? A safe haven is anyone, anything, anywhere you can find relief from the pressure, anxiety, and fear of your abusive relationship–if only for a few minutes, or a few hours. A safe haven would be; visiting a family member, or a friend, sitting in the park, going for a walk or run, even finding the time to read a funny joke, or a few pages in a good book. Whatever you think a safe haven can be for you, will be your safe haven. The demands on a woman’s physical and emotional health when in an abusive relationship takes a heavy toll. Women can become susceptible to lower immune systems, depression, anxiety and many other ailments. Finding a safe haven is imperative to realize a sense of safety and peace for even a short time. It can help to break the cycle of chaos and violence, and give you a time to begin to think of a way out.
My safe haven was my mother’s apartment. Once a week I would do a wellness check on her. And the few hours I was there became a godsend for me. When I was at her house I felt totally safe, relieved, at peace–like a weight was lifted, and most of all, I felt-FREE. I often look back on those days and see how checking on my mother, was really a wellness check for me. Going from the stress of my house, into my mother’s, always felt like I had just stepped into a parallel universe. Where birds were chirping, the sun was shining, flowers were blooming, and I could be myself. I could laugh, and dance,( I couldn’t do that in front of him). I savored those few hours each week. And, while I was there, I also worked on devising a plan that would eventually take me to my permanent safe haven.
As a woman who has been where you are, I know how badly you need a safe haven. I want you to see what you can do to find your own safe haven this week. Don’t wait! And write to me, let me know what your safe haven is.
_____T.E. Napolez, Author